


I'll Stick You in a Wormhole

by thetolkiengeek



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Accidental Baby Acquisition, Accidental Cuddling, Alternate Universe - Babies, Alternate Universe - Canon, But spoiler: it's not permanent, Fluff and Crack, Getting Together, Keith is good in a crisis, Lance can cook, M/M, Pining Keith (Voltron), Soft Klance in Comic Sans, and Shiro just really needs a nap, and then not-so accidental cuddling, ask me to tell you where in the timeline this fits i dare you, but we all been knew, canonverse, everyone but Keith and Lance get turned into babies, hand-wavy wormhole science, lance is good with kids, minimal plot, no but really this is Soft(TM), vague canonverse happenings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-06
Updated: 2019-01-06
Packaged: 2019-10-05 18:58:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17330579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thetolkiengeek/pseuds/thetolkiengeek
Summary: Keith sat up when he heard the crying.“Is that…?” Lance trailed off, hopping up and running to where Allura had been standing at the controls.The cries intensified, a cacophony of shrieks clamoring in Keith’s ears, as Keith pushed himself up.There, in a pile of familiar black clothing, was a very, very upset baby.Keith picked up the screaming child, holding it at arm’s length, studying the head of black hair with the shock of white at the front.“Lance…”“Oh my god, they’re babies,” Lance whispered.Keith looked up to see Lance rocking two more babies in his arms, one with silver hair and the other sporting an orange tuft at the crown of its head. At his feet where two toddlers, one with an orange headband and the other with reddish brown hair that stuck up in haphazard directions.“Quiznak,” Keith said.The baby Shiro in his arms cried harder.---Or, the castle goes through a wormhole and everyone except Keith and Lance gets turned into babies. Turns out Lance is really good with kids and Keith is in trouble.





	I'll Stick You in a Wormhole

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Nonbinary_Queen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nonbinary_Queen/gifts).



> Hello all, and welcome to the crackiest fluff I have ever and will ever write. This was part of a holiday fic exchange, and I took the prompt "accidental child acquisition" and just ran with it. Dee, I hope you enjoy this ridiculous piece of pure fluff!
> 
> A big thank you, as always, to Dani [@snowthunder](http://www.snowthunder.tumblr.com) on tumblr and [snowthunder](https://archiveofourown.org/users/snowthunder/pseuds/snowthunder) here on AO3, and another HUGE thank you to Mem ([@emphasis-all-mine](http://www.emphasis-all-mine.tumblr.com) on tumblr, and [seven league boots](https://archiveofourown.org/users/memphis/pseuds/seven%20league%20boots) on AO3) for allowing me to scream at her about this idea, and then her unwavering support and hilarious comments. 
> 
> For Dee ([@bondingrazzledazzletime](http://www.bondingrazzledazzletime.tumblr.com) on tumblr and [Nonbinary_Queen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nonbinary_Queen) on AO3).

It all started, as most things did, with Keith and Lance fighting.

Allura was attempting to pilot through a particularly tricky bit of space when Keith made the mistake of scoffing at one of Lance’s lamer pickup lines.

“Seriously, when has that ‘particle barrier’ line  _ ever  _ worked?”

“Oh please, Mullet. You wouldn’t know a good pickup line if it hit you on the nose,” Lance said, draping himself across his chair. They were supposed to be at their battle stations, manning the drones to destroy large pieces of debris that would weaken the particle barrier, and technically, Lance was. But he was looking far too relaxed and unaffected for Keith’s taste.

“At least I know when to quit,” Keith growled as he aimed with the joystick and fired at a rogue asteroid.

“It’s called  _ persistence _ . Something you wouldn’t understand, given that you never try,” Lance said primly, knocking into Keith’s drone.

“What are you even talking about?”

“You’ve gotta start something in order to quit--but I’ve never even seen you smile at one new person, even when I know for a fact that Acxa chick has a thing for you.”

Keith wrinkled his nose. Beyond the fact that he was truly the gayest gay to ever gay, he knew for a fact that Lance was wrong. He did smile at someone--who had conveniently forgotten that moment had ever happened. Keith wasn’t bitter about it. Not at all.

“Will you please let that go? I’m pretty sure she and I are related.”

Lance hummed. “Yeah, you’re probably right. You both have the same stick up your asses.”

Keith grit his teeth. He had no idea what Lance’s problem was. Honestly, Keith tried to mind his own business, tried to just get on with his life, to get over whatever it was that he had for Lance. But no matter what he did, there he was. Infuriatingly cheery and inexplicably combative.

“I’ll put a stick up  _ your _ ass if you don’t shut up and let me concentrate,” Keith growled.

Lance made an affronted noise in the back of his throat. “Hunk! You see how mean he is to me!”

Hunk, who had been sitting in silence next to Lance, made a distressed sound as his drone barely dodged an incoming piece of exploded Galra ship. “Lance, can’t you pick a fight after we get out of this debris field? I’ve got a bad feeling about this.”

“Yes, please,” Allura said, and Keith glanced over to see a bead of sweat trailing down the side of her face. “This is unstable space and quite tricky to navigate, and I’d prefer not to crash the castle.”

Lance whined, and Keith didn’t have to look behind him to know that Lance was pouting. His lip was probably sticking out, his nose scrunched up adorably and—Keith wasn’t thinking about this. 

“How come nobody ever yells at Keith?”

“Because you’re the one who always starts shit, genius,” Keith replied, and he might have blasted the asteroid that Lance had been aiming at to spite him. Just maybe.

“Hey! That was my shot!”

“Then you should have taken it.”

“That’s it!”

Keith barely registered the clatter of the joysticks hitting the ground and the sound of Lance’s converse stomping before he was being hauled up by his jacket. Keith blinked as Lance’s face refused to come into focus, Lance’s nose jabbing painfully into his. 

Keith shoved Lance away, trying to put some distance between them. He really didn’t need to know that Lance’s eyes had a little bit of green in them, or that the faint dusting of freckles on his left cheek looked like Orion’s Belt. Instead, he focused on the sharp anger that shot through him.

“What are you gonna do,  _ Sharpshooter _ , flirt with me until I die of boredom?”

“Hey guys--” came Hunk’s voice, the typical nervous wobble even more apparent, but Keith ignored it as he stared Lance down.

“You? Come on. I’d have better luck flirting with the mice.”

“Guys--”

“Oh yeah, and what’s your track record? Because from here, you’re O for zero.”

“Seriously--”

“I’ll have you know that Nyma and I--”

“Nyma?” Keith laughed. “Remind me again how that worked out for you? Handcuffed to a tree and your lion stolen?”

Keith watched in satisfaction as Lance’s face turned an alarming shade of red.

“You know what--”

“Boys!”

Lance and Keith’s heads whipped around at the sound of Shiro’s voice. Oh no. Shiro got up from his chair. Never a good sign.

“We are paladins of Voltron, not  _ children _ ,” Shiro said as he marched over and shoved them apart, “so start acting like it.”

Keith was ready to let it go. He really really was, but three things happened in quick succession that made it a little difficult.

First, something knocked into the ship, sending everyone tumbling like they were on the Enterprise.

Second, the alarms started blaring, and distantly Keith heard Allura yelling “Coran, what the quiznak is  _ that _ ?”

And third, Lance had landed on top of Keith, their chests touching and legs slotted together, and Keith couldn’t take it. He pushed at Lance to get up, even though the ship was still spinning.

“Get off of me!”

“ _ You _ get off  _ me _ !”

“Guys--”

“Is that a wormhole--”

“--feels wrong--”

“Of all people to get stuck on the other side of the universe with--” Keith said as he tried to untangle himself but only succeeded in tangling himself with Lance further.

“Oh go jump in a wormhole!”

“Brace yourselves!” Allura said, and suddenly Keith felt like he was being pulled in five directions at once.

 

When Keith came to, Lance was still on top of him, and Keith kicked him, trying to dislodge the dead weight. 

Lance groaned, eyes blinking. “Keith? What happened?”

“I don’t know but will you please just  _ get off of me _ ,” Keith said, and he could only hope the distress in his voice came across more as annoyance. If Lance stayed on top of him any longer, they were going to have another issue entirely. Keith was only one small gay, and an armful of hot, albeit annoying, boy was more than he could handle.

“Okay, okay,” Lance said, finally disentangling himself. “Sheesh, Mullet, I don’t smell that bad, do I?”

Not at all. Quite the opposite in fact. But Keith tried to shove the knowledge that Lance’s hair smelled like orange and spice to the side in favor of taking stock of the situation.

At first, Keith thought that maybe the others were also passed out, considering the eerie silence over the bridge. He hoped that nothing worse had happened, but considering that he and Lance were okay, he wasn’t too worried.

And then the crying started.

“Is that…?” Lance trailed off, hopping up and running to where Allura had been standing at the controls.

The cries intensified, a cacophony of shrieks clamoring in Keith’s ears, as Keith pushed himself up.

There, in a pile of familiar black clothing, was a very, very upset baby.

Keith picked up the screaming child, holding it at arm’s length, studying the head of black hair with the shock of white at the front.

“Lance…”

“Oh my god, they’re  _ babies _ ,” Lance whispered.

Keith looked up to see Lance rocking two more babies in his arms, one with silver hair and the other sporting an orange tuft at the crown of its head. At his feet where two toddlers, one with an orange headband and the other with reddish brown hair that stuck up in haphazard directions.

“Quiznak,” Keith said.

The baby Shiro in his arms cried harder.

Lance gasped, trying to cover baby Allura and Coran’s ears while not dropping them. “Don’t swear in front of the children!”

Keith looked Lance straight in the eye before saying, “Fuck you.”

“Fuck!” Pidge babbled.

Lance glared at Keith.

Keith shrugged, jostling Shiro once more, causing him to let out yet another unholy wail.

“Is he...okay?” Lance asked, looking at the wriggling infant in Keith’s arms.

“Probably?” Keith said. “I once was on an airplane with him and a baby started crying and he just looked at me and said ‘mood.’”

Lance narrowed his eyes.

“What?” Keith asked, the beginnings of a pounding headache making him snap.

“You really need to cradle him, support his neck,” Lance said, gesturing with his chin towards the two kids in his arms.

Keith looked at Baby Shiro and then back at Lance. Well, it certainly couldn’t hurt. He pulled the surprisingly heavy child to his chest, supporting his head in the crook of his elbow. 

At once, Baby Shiro stopped crying, his tear-stained face returning to a normal shade. Keith gave a couple tentative bounces and watched in awe as Shiro’s eyes drifted shut.

“Hey, Lance, I think he’s asleep…” Keith trailed off as he caught sight of Lance sitting cross-legged on Allura’s platform. Hunk and Pidge were tugging at Lance’s shoelaces, while Lance himself cooed at the giggling Coran in his arms. Allura was sitting up in his lap, trying to grab at the mice who had parked themselves on Lance’s knee.

Keith had never really understood the thing where men with children were supposed to be more attractive, but damn if he didn’t understand it now. Any hope Keith had of letting his crush slowly fizzle out vanished. This image was branded in his mind, right alongside the feeling of Lance pressed up against him as they had been entangled on the floor.

“Oh no,” Keith said quietly. 

“Hmm?” Lance turned his head, looking at Keith, the soft smile lingering from where it had been trained on Baby Coran, and for a brief moment, Keith let himself believe it was for him.

“I, uh--” Keith cleared his throat, “I was just wondering...how this is happened.”

Lance’s brows scrunched up. “Weird wormhole science? Look, there’s no use wondering when it’s already done.”

Keith frowned and looked back at the sleeping Shiro. 

“I guess so...but, Lance,” Keith met his eyes once again. “How the hell are we going to fix this?”

Lance sighed, pulling Allura’s tiara out of her mouth, and for the first time since this all happened, Keith could see the signs of true distress peering out from that normally bright expression.

“I don’t know,” Lance said, his shoulders scrunching up. “If we had Pidge or Hunk or Coran, we could probably figure it out, but it’s just the two of us, and for right now, we need to focus on what we  _ can  _ do. That’s honestly all I can handle at the moment.”

If Keith were being honest, he was taken aback, and maybe just a little relieved. So much of the time, Lance was the one who didn’t seem to take things seriously, or brushed off even big things like surviving a bomb exploding. It was kind of nice seeing that Lance was actually affected by something for once.

“Okay,” Keith said slowly. “So what  _ can _ we do?”

Even though Keith was reluctant to admit it, he really had no idea what to do. He was the shoot-first-ask-questions-later guy, and right now, there was no one to shoot. No bad guys, no hidden base, no external conflict. 

Just babies. 

“Well, I guess the first thing to do is go over what we know,” Lance said, voice growing stronger with each word, all while bouncing baby Allura on his knee. “We know we went through a wormhole. We know most of the team got turned into babies. We know the castle’s life support is fine, but we’re not moving.”

Keith looked at the viewscreen for the first time since the castle was hit and noticed Lance was right. The ship wasn’t moving, the space around them empty except for the sparkling of distant stars. There was no debris from ruined Galra ships, no planets, not even so much as an asteroid. At least it seemed stable.

Honestly, you couldn’t blame him for not noticing at first, what with Lance being on top of him and then the fact that his teammates had  _ literally turned into babies _ to distract him.

Baby Shiro began squirming in his arms, and Keith looked down in distress to see Shiro’s eyes blinking open.

“Uh, Lance,” Keith said, fear creeping into his tone. An asleep baby he could handle, that was easy, but what the hell was he supposed to do with an awake baby?

Lance stood, settling Coran into one of the seats surrounding Allura’s platform, leaving Allura, Hunk, and Pidge sitting in a circle, staring in fascination at the mice.

Lance assessed Keith, giving him a small smile. “Relax, Mullet, you’re doing fine.”

Shiro started crying again.

“Yeah, I’m doing fabulous,” Keith deadpanned, shifting the baby in his arms, but that only seemed to set him off further.

“I told you, cradle his head. He’s probably feeling unsupported,” Lance said.

“I am!” he snapped back.

“No, just--you gotta--” Lance sighed and marched over to where Keith was standing, coming up behind and reaching his arms around him.

Keith froze. 

“What are you doing?” Keith asked, his voice more than a little strained as he felt Lance’s hands slide down his arms, his head resting on Keith’s left shoulder.

“Showing you how to hold a baby,” Lance said matter of factly. “Calm down.”

Keith was about as calm as a hurricane. With every word, he could feel the delicate fanning of Lance’s breath on his skin, the movement of his chin, the hum of his vocal cords. His skin felt like it was on fire at each point of contact, Lance’s hands gentle as they subtly rearranged Baby Shiro. 

Almost instantly, Shiro settled back down.

“See? Support.”

“I didn’t hear complaining when I cradled  _ you  _ in my arms.”

Lance snorted, and Keith tried not to seize at the feeling of Lance pressing up against his back. “I mean, to be fair, I had just woken up from a quasi-coma. Pretty sure I also would have been crying otherwise.”

Keith huffed a small laugh. “Sure, and that’s why you smiled and held my hand.”

“Again,  _ coma _ ,” Lance said primly. “I can’t be held responsible for my actions.”

Keith smiled and found himself leaning just a little into Lance, who hadn’t yet moved away.

Then, a crash echoed around the bridge.

Lance jumped away, and Keith didn’t know whether to thank Baby Pidge for finding Rover and shooting off its laser or not. Part of him, for a split second, contemplated the moral implications of killing Rover 2.0.

Keith shook himself, trying to clear his head. He couldn’t afford to be distracted like this, not when his team needed him. And yeah sure, they were babies, and a year from now, they’d probably laugh the hilarity of it all--but it didn’t feel hilarious when Lance had to run after a toddling Pidge who was about to shoot herself in the eye.

And of course, the moment Lance left, Shiro started crying. Again.

“Me too, buddy,” Keith said, bouncing Shiro in his arms. “Me too.”

 

***

 

Keith was  _ exhausted _ . He would have liked to have said that Pidge and Rover were the worst of it, but that would be underselling things. 

In the three hours since the wormhole, Shiro had managed to cry then fall asleep then wake up and cry again no less than three times. Allura went missing, and Lance had to crawl in a vent to get her because she had tried to follow the mice. Pidge kept getting a hold of Rover and started hovering around the castle, periodically shooting lasers at unsuspecting, accidental babysitters. 

And currently, Keith was close to tears trying to figure out what to feed Hunk because he didn’t seem to like  _ anything _ .

“Oh come on, Hunk,” Keith whined as he waved a spoon in front of his face. “Please?”

“No!”

Hunk knocked the spoon out of Keith’s hand, sending the space goo flying.

Keith squeezed his eyes shut and clenched his jaw. “Patience. Yields. Focus.”

“Pidge, no!” Lance shouted, and Keith barely blinked, even when he realized that Pidge had managed to set fire to one of the chairs.

“Fuck!” Pidge shouted and laughed maniacally, running around the burning chair.

Eventually, Lance managed to get the fire out, Pidge having exhausted herself enough that Lance was able to grab her and carry her to one of the couches where she curled around Rover and fell asleep.

Keith was still trying to get Hunk to eat when Lance came over and collapsed next to him.

“Here, let me,” he said, pulling Hunk into his lap. Keith held out the spoon, but Lance shook his head, grabbing a spork instead, scooping up some food goo and offering it to Hunk. 

To Keith’s astonishment, after just a moment, Hunk ate.

“Seriously?” Keith asked, glaring at the now-eating toddler.

Lance barely paused in making airplane noises to laugh at him.

Keith leaned back, rubbing at his temples. This was shaping up to be the longest day of his entire life. 

“Where are Allura and Coran?” Keith asked. 

“Asleep, thank god,” Lance said as he continued to feed Hunk, who also seemed to be well on his way to tired. “Shiro?”

“Also asleep,” Keith said, jerking his head towards the couch where he’d put the slumbering Shiro down about an hour earlier. “That’s all he does, really.”

Lance chuckled softly. “Yeah, he probably needs it.”

Keith gave Lance a soft smile. “Oh definitely.”

Lance started to return it, but paused. He stared at Keith, and Keith was struck by the sudden urge to press his thumb to the furrow in Lance’s brow to smooth it out.

“I’m sorry,” Lance said eventually.

“You--huh? What are you sorry for?”

Lance shrugged, placing the spork on the table, hugging the now-full Hunk closer to his chest. “For getting us into this mess, I suppose.”

“How? You didn’t turn them into babies.”

“But I picked a fight with you and left my battle station, and I distracted Allura, and...it’s my fault. So, I’m sorry.”

Keith couldn’t exactly disagree with what he was saying, but that didn’t mean that Lance was to blame. Space was weird, and sometimes, there were wormholes that turned your teammates into babies.

“That’s bullshit,” Keith blurted out.

Lance’s head whipped up. “Are you serious? I’m trying to apologize here, and you--”

“I  _ meant _ ,” Keith said, interrupting Lance before he could work himself up into an indignant rage, “this isn’t your fault. Yeah, you picked a fight, but I wasn’t exactly doing anything to stop you so it’s kind of my fault too.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah,  _ oh. _ ”

Lance sighed. “I just feel responsible, and I don’t know how to fix--”

“Lance?”

“Yeah?”

“Shut up and let me share the blame.”

Lance laughed, and Keith smiled. “You got it, Mullet.”

Lance gripped a sleepy Hunk in his arms and stood up, heading for the lounge where they’d put all the other babies. Keith trailed after him, mostly because he didn’t trust Pidge not to wake up and set something on fire again.

“I can’t believe of all the babies,  _ Coran _ is the most normal.”

“I’m gonna be honest,” Lance said, placing Hunk down next to Pidge and sitting on the other side of the sunken couch, “I’m not surprised at all. That man exudes youth on normal days.”

Keith didn’t even think before throwing himself next to Lance, much closer than he normally let himself get. He could always blame it on the exhaustion, but Lance either didn’t notice or didn’t care, his own exhaustion painted in dark circles under his eyes. 

“This was  _ not _ how I planned to spend my day,” Lance said, closing his eyes and rubbing at his temples.

“Really? Because when I woke up this morning, I said to myself, ‘you know what I want? I want all my teammates to turn into literal babies.’”

Lance stared at him for a long moment, and Keith was afraid that maybe his sarcasm had offended Lance somehow. But then a smile broke across his face, and he let out a full-bellied laugh.

“You got me there, Kogane,” Lance said, catching his breath. “Who knew you were so funny?”

Keith gave him a relieved smile, pretending that Lance’s laugh wasn’t making his stomach do somersaults. “It’s been known to happen.”

“Well,” Lance said around a yawn, “you should make it happen more. I like your sense of humor.”

Keith mirrored his yawn, his eyes starting to drift closed. “And I hate yours.”

“No you don’t,” Lance murmured. “I heard you laughing when I told Coran I’d have none-vil of his nunvil.”

Despite his best efforts, Keith let out a little snort, even as he curled himself around a pillow. 

“See?” Lance whispered. “You like my jokes.”

“I like  _ you _ ,” Keith whispered back, and in the back of his sleep-addled mind, warning bells were going off, but he was too tired and too busy listening to the gentle snoring of the boy next to him to care.

 

***

 

When Keith woke up the next morning, he felt warm. That in and of itself was unusual, given that the castle was always just this side of freezing, but he just curled in closer to the veritable furnace that was Lance.

_ Shit _ .

Keith was petrified, both wanting to move and unable to, once he realized what he had done. 

He and Lance had clearly fallen asleep on the couch, and somehow during the night, Keith managed to curl up against him, clinging tightly to his soft t-shirt, not unlike the Baby Shiro laying on Lance’s chest.

Keith had a vague memory of a baby crying in the middle of the night, the ghost of a hand smoothing over his hair and a murmured, “I got it,” before drifting off again.

Keith turned slightly to look up at Lance’s face which was smoothed in sleep. He looked so young, so at peace…so beautiful. The gentle slopes, the sharp corners, the barest dusting of freckles. Keith’s heart beat faster in his chest. This really was the most beautiful boy he had ever laid eyes on.

His fists clenched, further bunching up the fabric in his hands, and Lance began to stir.

_ Abort, abort, abort! _

Keith let go, pushing himself up and away from Lance faster than if the Galra were chasing them. Unfortunately for Keith, this seemed to wake Lance up fully, his eyes blinking open gently.

In a sleep-heavy voice, Lance croaked out, “Keith...s’going on? ”

And if Keith thought sleeping Lance was bad, seeing him just waking up was so much worse. His voice was low and his hair stuck up in all directions, and as Lance stretched out not unlike a cat, his limbs moved with a limber languidness. 

Seeing this Lance was downright dangerous.

“Nothing,” Keith squeaked out. He cleared his throat and tried again. “I just woke up. Everyone’s still a baby.”

Lance looked down at the infant on his chest. “Well that’s good, or else waking up with a man on my chest would have been really awkward.”

Keith looked away and hoped Lance couldn’t see him blushing. Yeah, it was pretty awkward, waking up to see that he’d basically fondled Lance’s chest in his sleep. 

“Right,” Keith coughed.

“You okay there, Mullet?” Lance asked, and Keith looked up to see Lance peering at him with concern in his eyes. 

Keith grimaced, shaking his head. “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. Just...wondering what we’re gonna do.”

Lance had turned his attention back to Baby Shiro, who was just beginning to stir, giving fitful kicks with his little feet. Lance gently rubbed at his back, cooing softly, and Keith’s heart skipped several beats.

“Well, I guess all we can do is take care of them,” Lance said softly. “Not much else, considering neither of us can pilot the castle.”

Keith nodded stiffly. It wasn’t a great plan, but Lance was right. The only thing they could do was try to avoid disaster and hope a solution presented itself.

“Okay, but this time, you’re feeding Hunk,” he said finally.

Lance laughed, picking up the now-awake Shiro and handing him to Keith before walking over to where the other babies were just beginning to wake up. “As long as you’ve got Pidge. Setting fire to a chair was the last straw.”

Keith gave Lance a soft smile. “You got it.”

 

***

 

It turned out that when they put their mind to it, Keith and Lance really  _ were _ a good team. Despite the fact that Keith was running around putting out literal fires and chasing down rogue baby princesses, it was the most peaceful day he’d had in a long time. He and Lance hardly bickered. Maybe there was a bit of gentle ribbing here and there, especially when Keith held Allura out at arm’s length when her diaper needed to be changed, but it was good-natured and all smiles.

That being said, taking care of five babies was just as exhausting as the day before. By the time mid-afternoon (CST--Castle Ship Time) rolled around, Keith was about ready to collapse.

“I know why my parents insisted on nap time now,” Lance said as he settled a sleeping Coran into his little blanket swaddle in the middle of the lounge.

Keith, who had just detached Pidge from where she had been clinging to his leg, agreed. “I think  _ I _ need a nap after that.”

“Oh no, Mullet,” Lance said, looping and arm through Keith’s and dragging him towards the kitchen. “No you don’t. You’re helping me make dinner.”

“But it’s only two!” Keith protested, looking longingly back towards his own room. But truth be told, he was mostly pretending. He’d go along with Lance anywhere, tethered by even the gentlest of grip on his arm. 

“Yeah, well, I saved something for a special occasion and it’s going to take forever, and I’m going to need your help.”

Keith raised a brow. “You? Cooking?”

“What?” Lance asked, letting go of Keith’s arm as they walked into the kitchen. “Hunk’s not the only one who can cook. Besides, I love him, but that boy is a kitchen hog.”

Any and all chance Keith had of convincing himself that it was some kind of weird hormonal imbalance that made Lance so attractive to him was gone. Keith had subsisted off of mostly canned beans and tortillas while living in his shack in the desert, and he was suddenly hit with the image of Lance standing in his kitchen, humming to himself while Keith helped.

Keith was fucked. He might as well admit it at this point.

Lance turned towards one of the seldom-used cabinets in the corner of the room and bent down to rummage through it. 

Keith looked away, deciding that while yes, he could admit that he was a little bit in love with Lance, he wasn’t quite ready to deal with seeing that ass in those jeans.

“Aha!” Lance shouted, pulling himself out the cabinet, his arms full of various dehydrated alien vegetables.

Keith looked at them in suspicion, but Lance just walked up and shoved the basket at him. “I’m gonna get a bowl and we’re gonna work on rehydrating those.”

“Right,” Keith said, poking through the oddly colored plants.

Lance turned to look back at him, bowl in hand and smile on his face. “It’ll be fun, Mullet. I promise.”

Keith couldn’t help returning his smile, not when he looked at him like  _ that _ . 

***

 

They happened to be a good team in the kitchen too. 

Keith’s penchant for all knife-related things got him placed on chopping duty, while Lance bustled around the kitchen, banging pots and pans around in an all-too enthusiastic manner. He was going to leave the kitchen a mess, but Keith didn’t have the heart to stop him. He was just so excited. 

And he was a damn good cook too.

The smells wafting up from what sort of resembled a wok were amazing, and Keith’s mouth watered.

It watered some more when he lingered on Lance’s lips after he licked a bit of sauce off a spoon.

Keith couldn’t help but notice how comfortable they were, how they moved around each other like water, anticipating what they’d need well before the other had even thought about it. Keith wondered if this was what it could be like in battle, a fluid and deadly dance.

Then Lance placed a hand on his lower back to let Keith know he was behind him, and he froze instantly at the touch. No, that wouldn’t do in a battle at all.

They had been working for a couple of hours before one of the castle comms chimed, a video feed of the lounge pulling up, where Shiro was just starting to show signs of crying.

“I got it,” Keith said when Lance went to put down his latest stage in the project.

“You sure?” Lance asked, but Keith heard the relief in his tone.

“Yeah, keep going,” Keith said, placing his own hand on Lance’s back as he squeezed past him. 

Maybe he was just being hopeful, but he could have sworn he heard Lance gasp a little at his touch.

By the time Keith crossed into the lounge, all the kids had awakened, though only Shiro was really fussy. Keith picked him up, cradling him gently in his arms---and yes, supporting his neck---before pulling out a (laser free) Rover to hand over to Pidge and Hunk.

While there was no doubt Keith was going to sleep soundly tonight, he couldn’t help but smile at how...smoothly the day had gone. Sure, Pidge had still somehow managed to open up the airlock, and Hunk refused to eat with anything other than a spork, but he and Lance had a handle on it. 

Keith was good at damage control, even if he couldn’t quite hold a baby properly.

He played with the kids for another hour before Lance walked in, a bit sweaty and his hair sticking up everywhere, but eyes bright.

“Dinner’s ready,” he said, planting his hands proudly on his hips. “And it looks fabulous, if I do say so myself.”

Keith stared.

“What?”

“You...you’ve just got…” And before Keith could stop himself, he reached out to wipe a stray bit of sauce from the corner of Lance’s mouth with his thumb, pulling back and licking it off.

“Um…”

Lance’s cheeks were flushed such a pretty pink, and it made Keith brazen. “Tastes amazing.”

Lance was well and truly red now, and Keith could only hope he wasn’t blushing too badly.

“Yes, well--I, um…” Lance began, and Keith quirked a brow.

That familiar unspoken challenge seemed to snap Lance back to his usual bluster. “Of course it tastes amazing, I made it! And it’ll taste better if it’s still hot, so let’s round up the chiquitos and get to it.”

Keith turned to pick up Hunk in order to hide a smile that was certainly way too soft and warm and would have given him away instantly. You know, if the whole wiping-Lance’s-cheek-with-his-thumb thing hadn’t already.

Dinner may have been far from perfect, but Keith didn’t care. It was loud and boisterous, with little Allura babbling and trying to feed the mice, Coran giggling, Hunk and Pidge speaking some language that only they understood. Poor Shiro fell asleep in his dinner, sauce staining his white hair.

Keith and Lance barely talked, but they didn’t have to. Their eyes kept meeting, and Lance would give him a smile and Keith would duck and look away and try to sneak some more vegetables on Pidge’s plate. 

Soon, everyone was nodding off again, including Keith and Lance, so they moved back to the lounge, putting the kids down on the pile of blankets and pillows they had amassed on the sunken floor.

They went back to the kitchen to clean up, Keith taking the bulk of dish duty.

“You cooked, I clean,” he said firmly. “Don’t argue.”

Lance snaked a hand through Keith’s arm and snagged a dish towel before he could blink. “You helped, so I help.”

Keith gave Lance a long look before shrugging and getting back to rinsing the dishes before putting them in the magic Altean dishwasher. Lance danced around him in silence, bringing the rest of the dishes and packing the leftovers in the fridge.

By the time Keith had cleared the sink, Lance was finishing up wiping down the countertops. Though it was by no means pristine, it certainly didn’t look like Lance had been throwing food everywhere just a few hours before.

Keith stepped up to him and gently took the towel out of Lance’s hands.

“Come on, let’s get to bed,” he said softly, not wanting to disturb the quiet that had settled between them.

Lance yawned and nodded sleepily, letting Keith grab his hand and drag him back into the lounge.

Keith tried his best not to grip too hard, but he also wanted to memorize this feeling, the way Lance’s hand fit so perfectly into his, the way he didn’t pull away, the way Lance looked at him, so unguarded and fond.

Keith had always heard about crushes feeling electric, of tension crackling and feeling like you’re burning, but this just felt warm and soft and precious, like the steady flame of a candle rather than a roaring wildfire.

That warmth only intensified when Lance didn’t let go as they settled into the makeshift bed, instead stretching their arms over the Baby Shiro between them.

Keith knew he fell asleep with a smile on his face. 

 

***

 

When Keith woke up the next morning, he felt a weight on his chest. It took a moment to realize that it was a physical weight, not unlike the weight of a baby. He figured he must have grabbed Shiro at some point and let him sleep on his chest.

But when he blinked his eyes open, he realized that there was no Baby Shiro on his chest. Baby Shiro was still between him and Lance, except that space had gotten smaller, because Lance’s head was pillowed on his chest and his arm had been flung over his side and was gripping his hip.

Keith was dead. That was the only logical explanation. He was dead, and this was his version of heaven and--

BWAAAAAA

The blare of the castle warning siren accompanied the start of the ship shaking, and Keith was knocked to the side.

Lance tumbled off the other way, waking up just in time to smack his head against the couch, but they didn’t have time for that. Keith snatched up the smaller Coran and Shiro, who had  _ both _ started wailing, while Hunk clung to his leg, bawling his eyes out. 

Lance, on the other hand, grabbed for Pidge and Allura.

“What’s happening?” Lance yelled over the still-blaring claxxon, rushing out of the lounge and towards the bridge.

“No idea!” Keith yelled back, skidding to a stop as the doors slid open and the viewscreen flickered on to reveal a writhing mass of bright colors.

“Is that--”

“A wormhole?”

It wasn’t like any wormhole Keith had ever seen before. This looked...unstable. It sent out shockwaves that rocked the ship, still twisting and turning.

“Do we--”

“I think so,” Lance said.

Keith nodded, and did his best to grab Pidge from Lance as he made his way up the platform with Allura. 

Keith ran to strap the other kids into the battle station chairs as best he could before dashing back up to the platform.

Lance had managed to guide Allura’s hands, activating the controls, a fierce look on his face.

“Well, here goes nothing,” Lance said, reaching out towards the control.

“Wait!”

Lance paused and turned to Keith, his face ashen. “What?”

Keith stared at Lance, looked straight into his blue, blue eyes, drinking it all in. They had no idea if that wormhole would fix everything or kill them all, and Keith saw his own fear reflected in Lance’s eyes. 

“Here goes nothing,” Keith murmured, leaning forward to grab Lance’s cheeks in his hands and kissing him full on the mouth. It was just a hard press of lips, but it left Keith’s skin buzzing nonetheless, especially as Lance melted into it--

And Allura hit the controls and they went careening into the wormhole.

 

***

 

When Keith came to once again, it was with a profound sense of déjà vu. Lance had collapsed on top of him, their legs tangled together and a now-familiar weight on his chest.

Lance groaned and pushed up slightly, catching Keith’s eyes and staring into them with an indiscernible expression.

“What happened?” came a distinctly adult voice from next to them.

Keith and Lance turned their heads to see a fully-grown Allura pushing herself up from the platform, holding a hand to her head.

Lance scrambled off, and Keith tried not to mourn the loss. He looked up to see the other paladins, all their proper ages, unbuckling themselves from their chairs and looking around in various states of confusion.

“You’re back!” Lance shouted, running up to a rather surprised Shiro and giving him a hug. “I’m so happy you’re not a baby anymore.”

“A...baby?” Shiro asked, patting Lance awkwardly on the head.

“Seriously, what happened?” Hunk asked. “I vaguely remember a dream about a spork and the castle getting bigger, but--”

Lance let go of Shiro to run over to Hunk, chattering at about a million miles an hour. “We went through a wormhole and everyone but me and Keith got turned into babies, and we had to take care of you, and Pidge kept setting fires, and Allura wouldn’t stop chasing the mice, and Shiro kept crying...”

“You’re kidding,” Pidge said. “He’s kidding, right Keith?”

Keith smirked and shook his head, watching as Pidge’s face contorted in horror.

Shiro sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Explains the headache. I always get headaches when I cry.”

Keith’s smirk softened into a smile. He was beyond relieved to have his brother back, but he quickly turned his attention back to Lance, who had jumped up on the platform once more and was gripping Allura’s arm as he recounted the reentry into the wormhole.

“So...you and Lance didn’t kill each other?” Pidge asked, sidling up to Keith, a glint in her glasses that left Keith feeling terrified.

“Clearly not,” Keith said, looking away from her prying gaze.

Distantly, he felt his hand move up to caress the ghost of the kiss that still lingered on his lips.

“Oh, I see,” Pidge said knowingly. “It was seeing him with kids, wasn’t it?”

Keith blushed, but he didn’t deny it. He didn’t say anything at all, but Pidge read the answer in his silence.

She patted him on the arm. “My condolences.”

Keith couldn’t help his snort of laughter as he watched Pidge walk away. She threw up a middle finger in response, and Keith laughed harder. 

He turned back to see that Lance was recounting the adventure with the flaming chair for Coran and Allura, and Hunk and Shiro both had left when Pidge did, no doubt to go recover in their own rooms.

Keith nodded to himself, turning to walk back to his room where he was planning to follow suit and take a very  _ very _ long nap in his own bed.

He had a sneaking suspicion his bed was going to feel so much colder.

“Keith!”

Keith turned around to see Lance jogging up to him, an uncharacteristic nervousness on his face. “Can...can we talk?”

Keith nodded, gesturing Lance to follow him out the door and down the hall.

“So…” Lance said after a moment, his hands stuffed in his pockets. “We did it, huh?”

“Yeah…” Keith trailed off, unsure where Lance was going with this. 

“Listen, I’m sorry--”

Keith sighed. “Lance, I swear to god if you try to apologize one more time, I’m telling Allura to take us back into that wormhole.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah,  _ oh _ ,” Keith said, smiling a bit at the callback from that first time Lance tried to apologize for the best damn thing to happen to them during this whole adventure.

“Did you mean it?” Lance blurted out, and Keith could hear how long he’d been holding it back, that nervousness finally surfacing. “Or was it just a heat of the moment, we’re-about-to-die-and-I-want-to-kiss-someone-before-I-go kind of thing?”

“It was definitely a heat of the moment thing,” Keith said.

“Oh.”

“But also a you’re-really-hot-when-you’re-holding-a-baby kind of thing,” Keith added, his face breaking out into a grin. “And an I-have-feelings-for-you kind of thing.”

Lance stopped in his tracks. “What?”

Keith stopped too, standing just in front of Lance. “I like you, Lance. I have for a while.”

Lance nodded, though he wasn’t looking at Keith. “Oh.”

The grin had long-since faded from Keith’s face, and his heart raced, thinking maybe he had imagined the way Lance had started to kiss back.

“Lance, I’m really gonna need you to say something because I’m kind of dying here and--”

Lance surged forward, grabbing at the sides of Keith’s face, and slotting their lips together.

Keith’s eyes fluttered shut and his hands flew to Lance’s sides, gripping his hips to pull them together, pressing harder against Lance’s mouth, trying to remember every second of this moment.

Lance’s lips were impossibly soft and he still smelled like citrus even under the weird new baby smell and the way Lance moved against him had Keith feeling like he was careening back through the wormhole.

All too soon, Lance pulled away, and Keith blinked his eyes open, gazing at the constellation of freckles dusting Lance’s pink-tinged cheeks.

“Does that answer your question?”

A wry grin made its way across Keith’s face. “I don’t know. I think I might need you to say ‘oh’ one more time. Really lets me know how you’re feeling.”

Lance gave a little laugh, and Keith was glad to know Lance was just as breathless as he was. 

“I like you too. And for the record, you’re also really hot when you’re holding a baby.”

Keith smiled and leaned up, tangling his fingers in Lance’s hair and tilting his head to press his lips against Lance’s once more, and Keith thought that of all the people to get stuck on the other side of the universe with, he was glad it was Lance.

 

***

 

When he and Lance finally stopped making out in the hallway long enough for Keith to drag him back to his room so they could make out in his bed instead, Keith had never felt so warm. As he slotted himself next to Lance, resting his head so he could hear Lance’s heartbeat, he couldn’t help but feel like, as weird as it was, that wormhole was the best thing that had ever happened to him.

“Hey, Keith,” Lance said, his voice low and sleep-addled.

“Yeah?”

“Let’s not have kids for a long  _ long _ time, okay?”

Keith smiled. “But you’re so hot when you’re holding babies.”

Lance smacked him with a pillow, and Keith just snuggled closer.

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Don't be afraid to leave a comment <333
> 
> You can find me on the sinking ship that is tumblr [@thetolkiengeek](http://www.thetolkiengeek.tumblr.com)


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